that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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