you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
