im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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