but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Girls should come with a carfax report
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
