i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize