your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My dick has a subreddit
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
