The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize