you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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