It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
