i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
