i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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