If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
