My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Panties = found
Randomize
