Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
