The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
