Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
