I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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