someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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