Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize