I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
