...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize