You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
