I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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