i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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