I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
smell my finger.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I have post one night stand depression
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
