I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
