16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
