if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
