if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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