JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
