I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
