i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
