i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
