I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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