He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
time to smoke my breakfast
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
