how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
organizing the empties. That sober.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
