Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
