I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
