I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
It's just like the Real World with babies
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
