Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
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If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
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theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize