We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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