he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
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