she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You brought string cheese to the strip club
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize