craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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