Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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