sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
