Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Randomize
