You can't motorboat a personality
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
