That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
