Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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