scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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