why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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