i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
