i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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