have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
