Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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