Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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