Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
