So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We're too hungover to prance.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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