I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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