you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize