What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
