awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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