Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
