i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
