Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
