yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It's never too late to be topless.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
