i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
